SAVE THE LETTUCE

At 4 a.m. I woke up remembering the lettuce in the salad spinner sitting on the kitchen counter. 2 minutes later I knew in order to get back to sleep I would need to take care of the lettuce so I jumped out of bed and headed to the kitchen. BAMMMM! I ran head first into the open hall closet door. I grabbed my eye and forehead repeating ‘oh crap, oh crap, oh crap’ it hurt SO bad. Surprising even myself, not one swear word passed my lips. Heaven forbid if I let that lettuce sit another 3 hours so I took care of it first, grabbed 3 Tylenol (Ibu would have helped the inflammation but not my empty stomach) and headed for bed with an icepack. Feeling the vertical bump rising above my left eye made me nauseous. The ice on my forehead made the pounding almost unbearable.

On any other night, Chris would have been on his feet yelling “What was that? What’s the problem”. But Chris was fast asleep 2 states away in Portland. The ONLY night he’s away and I would have given anything for a little sympathy. He’ll have an alibi when society starts the domestic violence questioning.

I would have unleashed on my children in the morning for leaving the closet door open but this time it wasn’t their fault. DANG!

6 hours prior to my ‘door ding’ I was watching a T.V. show in my bedroom about 8 OBESE people from Mississippi who were attempting to lose a certain amount of weight in so many weeks. I went to the hall closet for some Pledge and a rag to dust my bed while watching the ridiculous show and failed to shut that closet door.

There is no way on earth any of those 8 people would have gotten themselves out of bed at 4 a.m to save the lettuce.